Maybe it was the scent of cooked cabbage permeating through the building for seven days in a row.
Maybe I heard one too many telephones ring and got too mad about the fact that I can’t dance every day anymore or blast Aretha Franklin.
Maybe it was the behavior of the upstairs neighbors. They like to river dance and rearrange furniture at all hours.
I guess it doesn’t matter exactly what the last straw was … all that really matters is that I got so honked off about apartment life that I started hanging out in my car … for hours.
Every time things get too loud in my apartment I grab my notebooks, some snacks and my cellphone and take off for the car.
Sometimes I am also crying when I do that. Other times, I am saying bad words – and I mean really bad words.
In my rearview mirror I occasionally see other humans approaching. And that is when my blood pressure sky rockets.
With a megaphone I want to yell, “You have not been invited to the vehicle. Get away now.”
I am already worrying about winter, when I won’t be able to live long hours of my life in my car unless I am in the mood to freeze to death.
Desperately, I decided to think about a way to escape. That’s important since I have to live here for nine months and 22 more days. I knew that if I didn’t come up with a plan B then I would likely need to develop a drinking problem.
That’s right. I hate apartment life that much.
Well thank goodness a rather quirky idea came into my life … house sitting.
Yes. That is the answer.
Since I certainly loathe living in this hamster hole, I now offer to sit in other people’s houses. While I am there I enjoy their fur babies since I can’t have one. I water their plants since I don’t have any. And I spend hours writing on their porches since I don’t have one of those, either.
Well let me just tell you that my new business is off and running! I had no idea that so many people were looking for someone like me to stay in their homes while they are away. I am proud that I found something else to supplement my income post breast cancer and its physical limitations.
Now I can frequently avoid apartment life and meet lots of great people and their sweet animals.
I grew up surrounded by soybean and hay fields and cattle behind the fence. I can’t stand feeling penned in. Believe me, no one cherishes these house-sitting gigs in the country more than me.
Also, I am the eccentric chick who has never bought curtains.
I have always felt that if I buy curtains somewhere, then it means I have to stay someplace forever. But I never found a place yet that I wanted to be forever.
So house sitting also appeals to my gypsy tendencies.
In every way, my new career is a definite win.
Sherri Coner is an award-winning journalist and humor writer who speaks to women’s groups. To learn about her books for women and to join her on Facebook, visit www.sherriconer.com.