I am never the chick who walks past an opportunity for adventure, even though I occasionally look back and wish I had the sense to keep walking.
But anyway, there is something new in my life.
Some people might be shocked to hear that I have never dealt with this something before. But it’s true, I have lived 56 years without ever experiencing what life is like with this something added to my daily schedule.
I can be right in the middle of an important meeting when my face reddens and my hands tremble as I slowly rise and excuse myself.
Rude? Sure I look rude. I look like I don’t care anything about anything.
But let me tell you right now, it just absolutely cannot be any other way.
Since this new something was added to my life, I have been hitting the pause button so often that eyebrows raise and whispers are traded, from one gossipy ear to another.
By the way, I’m not one bit giddy about this new something.
In fact, I rarely avoid suffering some kind of consequence when I have to suddenly hit the pause button.
In the grocery store last week I hit pause in the middle of shopping, returned to aisle 11 where I left my cart, and it was no longer there. Yep, even though it had a few items in it, someone had assumed that I abandoned my cart and took it.
I have missed the end of two or three TV sitcoms and the beginning of more than one news report, all because this new something has obviously taken over my life and sucked out my spleen.
I can’t get through a telephone conversation or a meal without once again excusing myself while also profusely apologizing. In a couple of emergency situations I had to simply walk away while the other person was still talking.
“Hey Sherri, …” my gabby friend stared at me, irritated. “What …uh … weren’t we having a conversation?”
“Sorry!” I shouted over my shoulder. “When I tell you that I need to pause, I mean it. OK? Pause, pause and pause some more. Take me seriously! I’ll be back in just a few minutes.”
Oh, it is so aggravating. ... I am not really a big fan of pausing.
To be such a tiny little something, this something has quickly turned my entire life upside down.
Can you guess what it is?
If this something has been added to your life too, I will bet that you immediately guessed correctly.
Yes, my doctor has prescribed a water pill.
Because of this tiny little pill, I can shove my way through a crowd like a linebacker to get to the nearest bathroom.
These days I just make my way toward a ladies room before I am even in the mood to go.